From Paris to The Netherlands

Snow, rain, mistiness,  

A painting, a sculpture, a bundle in life, for years;

In, for a glance,

Out, exit hasn’t be found;

All the endings were pre-drafted , 

All the tears decided to re-depart , 

I treid to record the smiles , 

He tried  to wave goodbye , 

I tried to find back the booklet , 

saying it's not just passing by; 

Read it under the yellow light,

I tried to admit, time just flies …

Talking to a friend , he's an expat as well

He has a dutch gf and he said ' sometimes I can't believe they're so simple , and I even thought there must be some trick within ' , well , I said ' congratulations , it's always good to have someone simple than complex , and please just shut up and enjoy ' ...

Talking to a dutch friend , he said ' so how many dutch bfs you have so far ' , I said ' none and will never happen ' . ' why not ? ' he asked , ' because I don't foresee myself end up my life behind a large window within a dutch house , in this city. '

I sometimes feel it's making my life difficult by demanding that much , it might be cheerful to just accpet a certain life style and accept the person who wants to create this life style for you. By thinking about this , I can't breath anymore , it's tight and heavy. I waked up 4h00 at night , by nightmare , in which I have a life with a so-called nice person, going to the city at the weekend , shopping in market , then go back to a Dutch house ...it's so much fear, and I again , know better and better what I DO NOT want ...

9h47 in the morning , I can't sleep anymore, typing in front of my PC , to record my fear in March 2008 for a potential dutch life ...

( don't ever get me wrong here , my dutch friends , I do like all dutch friends , dutch people , and the border line is when I'm not internally involved into their lives )

Snowing in March, The Netherlands .

Tibet, a part of China , Tibetan flag on in front of Chinese embassy , European media ‘attacks china ‘ , I’m tired of the argument with the European I know , it’s inner business of China and please let go .

YM died , in Paris , 25 years old , Chinese . I met him once when I was still living in Champs-elysees , Paris . He came with his girlfriend , another girl I saw a couple of times only, we had one diner together , and I was shocked while reading parisien news online and seeing the pic on.

Jeremie on phone, still looking for opportunities to start a career. I told him I would be back to Paris at the end , that is true , I love Paris , where I see myself get old and grey .  

I can’t fall in love with a Dutch , I like my Dutch friends , D.J is my new Dutch friend , he’s very nice and as one of my other colleagues mentioned , he’s hired because of his good looking J I like to make friends with good looking people , super facial as always , I like Dutch who are open-minded , who’re easy to get along , who are friendly and direct , I like Dutch as much as I can , as friends . I love French , some of them only , of course , love the tongue of the language , love the attitude , love the way of viewing things in Paris , love Paris , the city WHO refreshed my blood . I recently start thinking about the city where I would settle down after 30s, Paris , London , Berlin , New York , HongKong … Maybe even Amsterdam . It’s a sign of getting old, I expect wrinkles coming out very very soon …