From Paris to The Netherlands

'The Pianist' shocked me once more time , polish jews during the WWII, the germans , the jews , the human beings ... I went back to the WWII documentary movie , another 3 hours back to 1940s , 1943--The beginning of the end , I like this slogan , and that's very much... During the BBC interview with one of the german soldier during the WWII who shot pool of jews , he said ' I didn't think , didn't feel anything , I was aiming to shoot well ... ' I made my day heavy again , what could you say , he came out with such a harmless sentence , then the jewish nation experienced Colucaust ...

As I always feel strong feeling for jewish nation , for the greatest 'masterpiece' of life they created for this human being world , for one day when I leave this world , a portion of my memory , i meant the meaningful one would be having the trace of Jews...For , probably this reason , I'm heading to Israel , for the western wall , for the 5 secs shocking moment while watching Baraka, which till now , still no other movie could replace in my mind, for some unknown thoughts that I should be there , at least once in my entire life ... I need to talk to them and need to feel them ...

我在再看BARAKA的时候脑海里除了自己居然有了另外一个人，而我能够想象，或者说是向往的画面是希望能够和他一起去亚洲，6个月的时间，一种相依为命的感觉，一种我认为能够打到神交的感觉，不知道从什么时候开始，我开始对所谓爱情和生活伴侣有了新的理解，从某种肤浅的意义上说，我对感情的理解升华了，从深刻一点的层次说我对所谓感觉的尊重和追随越来越明显了

也不知道从什么时候开始， 我发现自己不太适合所谓事业，或许还不太适合这个世界， 从圣经到可兰经， 到犹太教， 对于宗教， 对于所谓世界的消极性， 我的兴趣远远超过了对金融报表的研究， 我时常在和几个要好的朋友聊天的时候说到， 我只是一个很幸运的人， 很幸运地得到了一些很物质的东西， 又或者说创造物质的条件， 可是如果真的说起来， 所有的这些都不是随我生随我死的东西， 有一天我离开这个世界的时候， 唯一能够带走的是自己， 和对于地球的记忆.

突然觉悟， 我其实只是一个很不负责的人， 甚至不对自己负责